<![CDATA[ASFAR Forums]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/ Wed, 15 May 2013 09:59:21 +0000 PunBB <![CDATA[ASFAR Position Paper-Youths' Right to Bear Arms]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/24/asfar-position-paperyouths-right-to-bear-arms/new/posts/ This is the position paper that I've written on the topic of youths' right to bear arms, having just finished it today. It's in rather splintered form here, and it looks much better as a Word document, but I sometimes have trouble sending Word documents out to people since I have a newer version of Word and people with older versions often can't open what I send. sad

ASFAR Position Paper-Youths’ Right to Bear Arms

The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution ensures that it is our position as Americans for a Society Free from Age Restrictions that “the right to keep and bear arms should not be restricted on the basis of age.”  To the individual unfamiliar with the complexity and rational basis of advocacy of various youth rights, this may seem a lunatic proposal. In reality, we draw from historical precedent in our own society, research into other more “primitive” societies, and mere logical analysis to support the view that age restrictions on firearms (and other weapons, for that matter) are arbitrary and ultimately unnecessary, and that those alleged risks that do presently exist are to some extent bred by arbitrary and relative societal conditions that could be altered.

Regardless of what conclusions present analysis yields about the alleged dangers of youth access to firearms, it’s imperative to keep in mind that this analysis is conducted in conditions where youth have been specifically deprived of rights and corresponding responsibilities from early childhood, and there is thus little basis for concluding that there exists some inherent inability of youth to responsibly exercise a right to bear arms as a result. Indeed, as mentioned, research into the practices of more “primitive” societies reveals a substantially different picture of youth access to lethal weapons in daily life. One of the more insightful analyses into this phenomenon was that of Jean Liedloff (1978), who engaged in a fascinating study of the Yequana Indian tribe of South America. She noted this of the access of young children to what weapons the tribe possessed:

“The boys, from about the age of about 18 months, practiced archery with sharp arrows, some enthusiasts carrying their bow and arrows about most of their waking hours. Shooting was not confined to designated places, now were any ‘safety rules’ in effect. In my two and a half years there I saw only one arrow wound.”

No doubt many will be greatly skeptical (to put it very lightly) of the prospect of 18 month old children handling dangerous or lethal weapons. To be clear, that is not the precise nature of our proposal here. We expect that the majority of very young children will not be capable of independently using lethal weapons, but neither do we see a need to establish an age restriction to prevent them from doing so, and instead propose that an alternate means of competence measurement be used, as with our proposals in regards to other age restrictions. We do not imagine that we can establish an injury-free utopia in an environment that differs substantially in various social arrangements from that of the Yequana, and readily acknowledge that there will certainly be youth who irresponsibly handle weapons, and will inevitably injure or kill themselves or others. However, if appropriate measures of cautious training are established from an early time in a youth’s life, this problem will likely not be so pervasive as to warrant a general rule that prohibits youth access to or ownership of firearms or other weapons.

That said, we must acknowledge that presently existing concerns about youth and firearms are limited not only to fears of them accidentally injuring or killing themselves or others due to ineptness, but fears of them deliberately injuring or killing others due to emotional immaturity or volatility, regardless of their actual competence to handle firearms, or worse yet, fears exacerbated by their ability to competently handle firearms and thus increase the abundance and lethality of their attacks. This concern seems to us similarly misguided for several reasons. Firstly, the alleged risks of youth violence seem greatly exaggerated to begin with. While media reports perpetuate popular sentiments that youth crime levels are skyrocketing and constitute a savage bloodbath on the part of the young, a Department of Justice Report instead notes that “[t]he growth and decline in violent crime by juveniles between 1980 and 2003 are documented by both victim reports and arrests” (Snyder and Sickmund 2006). 

Secondly, it’s again imperative to note that whatever pattern of youth violent behavior does exist exists in an environment in which youth are subject to deliberate infantilization and authoritarian restrictions that likely play a role in the development of personality disorders or other deficiencies among many. It’s certainly not the case that all forms of youth violence are caused merely by this environment; even in far preferable settings, it seems likely that many youth (and adults) would continue to assault, injure, kill, and generally brutalize others for one reason or another, or perhaps for no conceivable reason at all. But alongside this persistent pattern exists the reality that sharp increases in youth violence or emergence of different varieties that did not previously exist seems to be interestingly correlated with the emergence of parallel restrictions that may reasonably be expected to inhibit certain developmental capacities.

For example, school violence is widely feared as a terrible epidemic of youth dysfunction generated through exposure to unsavory entertainment media, and worse, under-restricted youth access to firearms. The topic is intensely focused on by tabloidist media sources (which typically include the majority of the television and print media in the case of youth) as an example of the inherent recklessness and volatility of the young, with the 1999 Columbine High School shootings having provoked a national fervor about youth access to vice, and the entire American political spectrum almost unanimously adopting an anti-youth position of some sort, with liberals consequently favoring more draconian restrictions on Second Amendment rights and conservatives consequently favoring more draconian restrictions on First Amendment rights in the aftermath of that incident. And yet, the origins of school violence are far more complex and thus, the potential solutions consequently far more nuanced than any mere prohibitive restriction on youth freedoms. Gordon Crews (1997) offers interesting insights into the nature of those origins.

“Throughout the Middle Ages and as late as the seventeenth century, children participated in acts that, if committed in modern times, would result in not only their being defined as delinquent but also in requiring their parents and other adults to be charged with contributing to their delinquency. As soon as they could talk, most children learned and used obscene language and gestures; many engaged in sexual activity at an early age, willingly or otherwise; they drank freely in taverns, if not at home; few of them ever went to school, and when they did, they wore sidearms, participated in brawls, and fought duels (Newman 1980).*

As a socially accepted concept of childhood grew and expanded, the meanings attached to it significantly altered. The acts of children that in previous centuries were not seen as particularly deviant suddenly became unique problems. New norms and expectations developed as childhood became a special phase in the life cycle (Newman 1980). In this phase, school violence would find its origin.”

On the one hand, it’s apparent that during an era in which age boundaries were not clearly set and age restrictions themselves were minimal and/or unenforced, youth still “wore sidearms, participated in brawls, and fought duels.” This can obviously by no means be called a utopia in which youth violence was nonexistent thanks to the absence of those age boundaries. And yet, the comment that “the acts of children that in previous centuries were not seen as particularly deviant suddenly became unique problems” suggests that modern perceptions of youth misbehavior (including youth violence) are regarded as more problematic today than is reasonable. There are, for instance, many who hold the impossibly rigid position that a single person injured or killed because of youth access to weapons is grounds for denying them all such access, while few would presume to adopt such an extremist stance in the case of adults. The earlier comment that “there will certainly be youth who handle weapons irresponsibly, and will inevitably injure or kill themselves or others” may be regarded by some as a sufficient basis for adopting even more draconian policies as they relate to youth and weapons. However, we must acknowledge that though such problems will indeed occur, there’s no basis for believing that youth established as competent will somehow be more endangered than similarly competent adults to any significant extent.

But more than that, the last sentence of that excerpt is of particular interest because of the claim that the emergence of school violence was caused by or at least related to the fact that “childhood became a special phase in the life cycle.” This is a curious comment, and one that indicates that the establishment of more rigid age restrictions and more correspondingly paternalistic legislation did not have the effect of creating or maintaining peace and stability in the schoolhouse, the institution wherein the rigid hierarchies and age-based boundaries that govern the lives of the young manifest themselves more plainly than in all other contexts. Instead, it had the effect of perpetuating and intensifying previously existing violent conditions, as well as creating new forms of violence where they had not previously existed. While broad correlation of the emergence of school violence with the expansive process of the development of childhood as a firmly defined phase of the life cycle may not be (and indeed, probably is not) sufficient evidence of some causative link between the two, there is more specific evidence that the expansion of school violence is connected to the parallel establishment of compulsory schooling. As put by Elizabeth Midlarsky and Helen Marie Klain (2005):

“School violence appeared to be particularly widespread during periods wherein education became compulsory for previously unschooled students. Neither the students nor their teachers had any positive attachment to one another nor to the schools. Disciplinary problems were rampant and were addressed through corporal punishment. In contrast to the opinion that leniency leads to chaos, the harsh discipline found in earlier times led, quite literally, to chaos.”

We thus again see the pattern of coercive and authoritarian restrictions and disciplinary methods having the effect not of ending problems, but instead of producing a greater amount and more intense form of the very behavior that its application was intended to stymie. This is due to the fact that legitimately harmonious relations cannot be bred by coercion or force, and must instead be produced by voluntary association. Utilization of coercion or force will have the effect of producing contentious and hostile relations rather than peaceable ones, a reality acknowledged by the authors’ quotation of an astute observer's comment that “[t]here is as little disposition on the part of American children to obey the uncontrovertible will of their masters as on the part of their fathers to submit to the mandates of kings.”

As Midlarsky and Klain note, openly authoritarian methods were among those detailed in pamphlets circulated by those favoring authoritarian approaches to childrearing and education. They included the following advisories:

“(1) Never permit children to be alone, since they are not fit to govern themselves.
(2) Discipline, do not pamper children.
(3) Teach modesty.
(4)Train children to work; teach them diligence in some lawful trade.
(5) Above all teach respect and obedience to authority. Disobedience leads inevitably to dishonor, disease, and death.”

While many laud these methods even today, it’s apparent that their consequences were not those of preserving order and discipline, but instead of provoking hostile and openly violent reactions from those who regarded them as excessively restrictive. And it’s necessary to point out that such restrictions are not merely present in schools and nowhere else, but are facets of the daily lives of the majority of American children and adolescents.

The psychologist Robert Epstein (2007) has conducted an analysis of the degree to which adolescent youth are infantilized and subject to authoritarian restrictions compared to other regular adults and heavily restricted groups of adults (specifically prisoners and active-duty military personnel), the list of restrictions having included such items as compulsory schooling, confiscation of private property, corporal punishment, forced medication and medical treatment, allowance cutoffs, and grounding. As he notes:

“To find out how adults score on the infantilization scale, I administered it recently to twenty-five noninstitutionalized adults in the San Diego area, twenty-four United States Marines on active duty (at Camp Pendleton in Southern California), and thirty-two incarcerated felons (at a county prison in the San Diego area). One would think that military personnel-obligated to follow orders without question-and prisoners-stripped of most of their rights by the criminal justice system-would be far more encumbered than noninstitutionalized teens.

But that’s not what I found. Noninstitutionalized adults indeed scored near zero on the scale (2.3 out of a possible 42), but teens outscored prisoners and soldiers by a large margin (26.6 for teens vs. 14.6 for prisoners and 10.9 for soldiers). Even with these small samples, the differences in these scores were, from a statistical standpoint, highly significant. In other words, teens appear to be subject to about twice as many restrictions as are prisoners and soldiers, and to more than ten times as many restrictions as are everyday adults” (italics his (I had to use boldface to distinguish here)).

Troubling though this is by itself, we also must recall that our focus is not only on individuals fully competent to possess full rights of self-determination (almost all adolescent youth would be included in that category), but those other, likely younger persons whose development of such abilities may be inhibited by excessive restrictions. As noted by John Darling (1992):

“[There is a] common-sense perception, endemic in our culture, of children as rather silly and immature, unfit to be given responsibility. Yet such a view is clearly in danger of being self-confirming; for where children are seen as silly and immature, they will not be given responsibility, and where they are not given responsibility, they are likely to remain silly and immature.”

This idea has and continues to form a cornerstone of our philosophy. With not only this age restriction on youth but every other, we attempt to emphasize the reality that we’re confronted with a vicious cycle of the medicine causing the illness, an ailment for which the same medicine of a greater amount and stronger intensity is prescribed. Hence, though we’ve acknowledged that media reports into youth violence are ridiculously exaggerated and designed to capture higher ratings at the costs of fairness and objectivity, we also have cause to believe that what abnormally elevated levels of youth armed violence and youth violence in general do exist are in fact intensified and exacerbated by the very authoritarian restrictions intended to curtail them. The legitimate solution is hinted at by Liedloff:

“The operative factor seems to be placement of responsibility. The machinery for looking after themselves, in most Western children, is in only partial use, a great deal of the burden having been assumed by adult caretakers. With its characteristic abhorrence of redundancy, the continuum withdraws as much self-guardianship as is being taken over by others. The result is diminished efficiency because no one can be as constantly or as thoroughly alert to anyone’s circumstances as he is to his own. It is another instance of trying to better nature; another example of mistrust of faculties not intellectually controlled, and usurpation of their functions by the intellect, which does not have the capacity to take all relevant information into consideration.

Besides causing civilized children to have more accidents, this propensity of ours to interfere with nature’s placement of responsibility where it works best also gives rise to innumerable other hazards.”

Our ultimate goal does not involve withdrawing all influence from youth and naively hoping that they’ll stumble down the right path, but in withdrawing authoritarian and coercive influence, and instead maximizing voluntary influence through reduced restrictions and more “libertarian” training (or self-training) methods. Lest this course of action seem too intangible to even comprehend, we must again emphasize that we favor the specific policy objective of the abolition of age restrictions on firearm and weapon ownership, as well as the imposition of additional restrictions upon youth that do not exist in the case of adults. Parallel to this must exist a more freely structured means of learning about firearms that would ensure general knowledge, but that would not collapse into a rigid and authoritarian means of compulsion that mirrored our current state of affairs. Keeping in mind Darling’s warning about the withdrawal of responsibility playing a significant role in keeping children “silly and immature” and Liedloff’s declaration that placement of responsibility is “the operative factor,” implementation of such policies can hopefully function as a facet of maximizing youth responsibility and autonomy, and in conjunction with the reduction and ultimate abolition of other age restrictions, nurturing capacities for self-governance in all areas of life.

*To clarify further, we do not wish to infer that we support the prospect of children and adolescents engaging in the sort of irresponsible or reckless activity described in the first section of that excerpt, but rather to indicate that they generally possess a toughness and an ability to cope not typically attributed to them by adults, and indeed, their peers. Our purpose is thus not to plague youth with burdensome and dangerous living conditions, but rather to create conditions in which they can use their toughness and durability when they encounter the difficulties of modern life, which may be substantially reduced in danger but substantially more complex also.

References

Crews, Gordon A.  The Evolution of School Disturbance in America: Colonial Times to Modern Day. Westport, Conn: Praeger, 1997

Darling, John. “A. S. Neill on Democratic Authority: A Lesson from Summerhill?” Oxford Review of Education, Vol. 18, No. 1 (1992), pp. 45-57

Epstein, Robert. The Case Against Adolescence: Rediscovering the Adult in Every Teen. New York: Quill Driver Books, 2007

Liedloff, Jean. The Continuum Concept: Allowing Human Nature to Work Successfully. Reading, Mass: Addison-Wesley, 1985.

Midlarsky, Elizabeth and Klain, Helen Marie.  “A History of Violence in the Schools.” In Violence in Schools: Cross-National and Cross-Cultural Perspectives, edited by Florence Denmark. New York: Springer, 2005.

Snyder, Howard N., and Sickmund, Melissa. 2006. Juvenile Offenders and Victims: 2006 National Report. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

]]> Wed, 15 May 2013 09:59:21 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/24/asfar-position-paperyouths-right-to-bear-arms/new/posts/ <![CDATA[Hire a Professional Plumber For Plumbing Drain Cleaning]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/530/hire-a-professional-plumber-for-plumbing-drain-cleaning/new/posts/ There are lots of causes for you to employ an expert to accomplish this available for you when you might want water system depletion cleaning carried out. Learning most of these causes will let you complete a wise decision.

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]]> Tue, 07 May 2013 12:15:42 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/530/hire-a-professional-plumber-for-plumbing-drain-cleaning/new/posts/ <![CDATA[Wall Street Journal article: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/104/wall-street-journal-article-why-chinese-mothers-are-superior/new/posts/ http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142 … 98754.html

Well, here's my response from an email thread my extended family's got going:

I found this so unbelievable I wasn't sure if maybe it was satire, in accordance with Poe's law: http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Poe's_Law. However, I must write my own visceral response:

"Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin."

From the beginning, this is beyond unreasonable. None of these things are inherently bad. "Not allowing" children to get any grade less than an A, or not be the No. 1 student (in anything except gym and drama? wow. Those are some old prejudices) doesn't even make any sense. It's not a matter of allowance; it's a matter of achievement. Some of them (no being in school plays? not *complaining*? playing any instrument other than piano or violin? - if you don't understand that one, I can vouch for it: I saw a band play once whose guitarist wasn't allowed to learn guitar, so he had to go to his friend's house to learn. He was only supposed to learn violin. Which he did too.) These things are not meant to promote "hard work." They're making parents' prejudices into children's restrictions. Restricting what a child *likes* is just wrong. It is, to borrow a term: http://www.racialicious.com/2011/01/10/ … e-superior, overly hardass. You're depriving them of opportunities, no matter what you say about Asian immigrants being the first to take advantage of opportunities.

"children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning"

I will be the first to admit that I have some radical views regarding age and parenting, so some of my views may be just as hard to accept as some of Amy's. But this is my rebuttal, so. "Children on their own never want to work"? How do you know this? Two things: one, "never" is a bad word to use, and two, you don't know what's going on in someone else's head. (Clearly, you specifically don't particularly care.) Also, maybe they would want to work if they were "allowed" to work on *their* passions.

But what gets me the most about this one is the sheer faith in absolute authority, the need to "break" your children's will. Because that's exactly what that was, in that quote up there. It's also the traditional reason given for corporal punishment, as cited in a study from the early 1900s. (I don't remember the exact study, but I was using it for a research paper.) The idea that a child's will needs to be broken because the parent is right is just *wrong.* I can't think of enough synonyms for wrong.

"Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can't. Once when I was young—maybe more than once—when I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, my father angrily called me "garbage" in our native Hokkien dialect. It worked really well. I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I had done. But it didn't damage my self-esteem or anything like that. I knew exactly how highly he thought of me. I didn't actually think I was worthless or feel like a piece of garbage.

As an adult, I once did the same thing to Sophia, calling her garbage in English when she acted extremely disrespectfully toward me. When I mentioned that I had done this at a dinner party, I was immediately ostracized. One guest named Marcy got so upset she broke down in tears and had to leave early. My friend Susan, the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the remaining guests."

This isn't virtue, it's lack of cultural understanding. Also, judging from the rest of this article, I wouldn't trust Amy's account of how she felt as a child; I'm not sure she remembers what it was like to be a child. And many abused children - yes, I said the word, even if I'm not accusing her parents of it - feel a lingering need to defend their parents after they grow up. Also, I'm wary any time a parent gets mad at their children for being "disrespectful." Assuming that they must show deference - at the cost of disagreement - is a perpetuation of the assumption that parents must be the absolute authority not because of being right or anything like that, but because they're the parents. As though adults can never be wrong where children are right. And I think the children would be right where their own feelings are concerned.

"They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently."

This is nice, and I would like it as a concept were it not for the rest of the article. But with that context, I have to respond that you really can't assume either one. Try to take your cues from your children's natural reactions - not their fearful ones - once in a while, okay?

"That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child."

This is coercion and if not emotional abuse, bordering on it. Yeah, let's just completely ignore the child's personhood for what we want, why not? </sarcasm>

"Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The reason for this is a little unclear, but it's probably a combination of Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and done so much for their children. (And it's true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating and spying on their kids.) Anyway, the understanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud.

By contrast, I don't think most Westerners have the same view of children being permanently indebted to their parents. My husband, Jed, actually has the opposite view. "Children don't choose their parents," he once said to me. "They don't even choose to be born. It's parents who foist life on their kids, so it's the parents' responsibility to provide for them. Kids don't owe their parents anything. Their duty will be to their own kids." This strikes me as a terrible deal for the Western parent.

Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences."

Ah, so here we get to the crux of the matter. "Children don't choose their parents. They don't even choose to be born." This is true, even just from a factual viewpoint. Does Amy deny this? Apparently, her only concern is for the parent here.

So parents do a lot for their kids. They take care of them, love them, whatever. And generally, kids who grow up with loving parents - kids who can feel that their parents love them - love their parents back. And want to do nice things for them, make them happy. This is completely different from saying "You owe me." (And I have to point out that Amy - like a lot, probably a majority, of parents - thinks that "spying on their kids" is not only a good thing, but a form of care. I think spying is a form of utter disregard for a child's personhood, taking advantage of the position of power being a caretaker gives them, and a complete lack of respect for this child's privacy. Person's privacy, if that phrase has more automatic validity.

"Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences."

Exactly. What she's getting at here is paternalism: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternalism, which is a common trait in parents in general, not just the Chinese. And it's wrong, on some level. To believe that you know what is best for someone else implies that you know the other person better than themselves. And I'm sorry, but even parents don't know their children better than themselves. And if you admit that, then the only justification for paternalistic parenting (lol, yes) is believing that no matter what, the parent is right. And that is fundamentally wrong.

"Here's a story in favor of coercion, Chinese-style. Lulu was about 7, still playing two instruments, and working on a piano piece called "The Little White Donkey" by the French composer Jacques Ibert. The piece is really cute—you can just imagine a little donkey ambling along a country road with its master—but it's also incredibly difficult for young players because the two hands have to keep schizophrenically different rhythms.

Lulu couldn't do it. We worked on it nonstop for a week, drilling each of her hands separately, over and over. But whenever we tried putting the hands together, one always morphed into the other, and everything fell apart. Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off.

"Get back to the piano now," I ordered.

"You can't make me."

"Oh yes, I can."

Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have "The Little White Donkey" perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?" I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.

Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful. Also, he said, maybe Lulu really just couldn't do the technique—perhaps she didn't have the coordination yet—had I considered that possibility?

"You just don't believe in her," I accused.

"That's ridiculous," Jed said scornfully. "Of course I do."

"Sophia could play the piece when she was this age."

"But Lulu and Sophia are different people," Jed pointed out.

"Oh no, not this," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone is special in their special own way," I mimicked sarcastically. "Even losers are special in their own special way. Well don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'm willing to put in as long as it takes, and I'm happy to be the one hated. And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take them to Yankees games."

I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.

Then, out of the blue, Lulu did it. Her hands suddenly came together—her right and left hands each doing their own imperturbable thing—just like that.

Lulu realized it the same time I did. I held my breath. She tried it tentatively again. Then she played it more confidently and faster, and still the rhythm held. A moment later, she was beaming.

"Mommy, look—it's easy!" After that, she wanted to play the piece over and over and wouldn't leave the piano. That night, she came to sleep in my bed, and we snuggled and hugged, cracking each other up. When she performed "The Little White Donkey" at a recital a few weeks later, parents came up to me and said, "What a perfect piece for Lulu—it's so spunky and so her."

So. This extract begins with "Here's a story in favor of coercion, Chinese-style." Well, at least she admits it's coercion. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be coerced. I think if someone seriously tried to coerce me to do something I really didn't want to, it might even be, yes, "legally actionable." How about you? But somehow, it's different when the person involved is a child. Then you just drill it into them.

Honestly, this example reminds me a lot of "episodes" between me and my parents. It's a better explanation of how things went than I think I could come up with myself, right now. Sure, there was a "happy" ending. Because this was my family, and I needed to wake up the next day and eat breakfast and go to school. So I have to resolve it somehow, and the conflict was made meaningless by the fact that the thing in conflict - in this case, the piano piece - had been resolved. So instead of trying to explain how I felt and why I was being "rebellious and defiant," I would hug them and go to bed.

So I won't even get into every aspect of this excerpt. But:

"You can't make me."

"Oh yes, I can."

And she can - if not within her child's spirit, practically. Parents have this power - and they abuse it, like this. Children are helpless. And you wonder why they lash out?

"I think it's a misunderstanding on both sides. All decent parents want to do what's best for their children."

Well, at least she got that. So I won't get into the racial stuff here. I linked a post up near the beginning of this that addressed that, I think.

And Mausi, you addressed the balance part in your response. So I guess I'll sign off now. Thanks for reading.

]]> Wed, 17 Apr 2013 08:44:11 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/104/wall-street-journal-article-why-chinese-mothers-are-superior/new/posts/ <![CDATA[Save a Hillsboro girl from a isolated boarding school near Bend,Oregon]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/89/save-a-hillsboro-girl-from-a-isolated-boarding-school-near-bendoregon/new/posts/ A 15 year old girl is about to be isolated from the world at a boarding school near Bend in Oregon called Academy at Sisters.

Once she arrives at the correctional boarding school, she will be cut off from the surrounding world. Only her birthfather and stepmother will be her lifeline to the world and protection from any torment she will face at this school.

The length of her stay is not determinded by her actions up to the detention at boarding school, so she is not even granted the rights of a criminal who knows for how long they are put in jail.

It is a boarding school which helps the custodial parents to cut off children from the non-custodial parents. It is in fact a part of their marketing.

Please help out. Write the school and make them aware they their presence in this awful business has been noticed, so the Hillsboro girl knows that people still have room for humanity.

For more info see this facebook group and this thread on the Fornits message board.

]]> Wed, 17 Apr 2013 08:43:07 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/89/save-a-hillsboro-girl-from-a-isolated-boarding-school-near-bendoregon/new/posts/ <![CDATA[Planned curfew]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/26/planned-curfew/new/posts/ As I posted on NYRA's newswire, county commissioners in Leon County are planning a curfew. Any resources available would be greatly appreciated.

]]> Wed, 17 Apr 2013 08:41:58 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/26/planned-curfew/new/posts/ <![CDATA[The Broxigar Information regarding Incredible Playing]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/529/the-broxigar-information-regarding-incredible-playing/new/posts/ Broxigar Saur fang (also known as Broxigar the actual Crimson, Broxigar the actual Reddish Ax, or perhaps fundamentally Bronx) would be a veteran orca soldier whose friends ended up killed in battle & whom searched for their own dying inside fight due to his sense of guilt. Bronx has been a significant figure in the actual Conflict with the Ancients, & has been chronologically the initial orca ever encountered in Nazareth inside the new modified time-line.  Bronx ended up being ultimately liberated simply by Tirade whom acquired meanwhile diablo 3 gold partnered with other time-travelers, the dragon-mage Kraus & his previous student, the human being mage Rhone. Bronx stood guard over the comatose Malfurion since the second option destroyed any highborn cause disrupting the particular Effectively regarding EternityBrox's fighting expertise received him or her a fair status one of many Gram calorie Weight. Though normally xenophobic, the night elves recognized him or her (even though the existence of your dragon Korialstrasz could have influenced which ).Any time Bronxs axe ended up being obtained through the Celestial body overhead Pads that seized him or her, a night elf Malfurion, under the woodland demigod Canaries' path, made a magical guitar involving timber which in fact had the particular sharpness & density of a gemstone. Throughout Bronxs fingers, it turned out being the loss of life involving literally thousands involving demons & permitted your pet to achieve your unspeakable in opposition to their particular master.

Bronx would have been a expert in the First, Subsequent, & 3 rd Wars well-known among his individuals pertaining to his / her bold measures to help to carry an essential huge batch cross in opposition to millions associated with challenges from the function of the 3 rd Conflict. Famous his or her comrades, Bronx ended up being the left in existence whenever orcas fortifications last but not least came on the war. Though these folks were significantly honored through their men and women, Bronx never ever forgave themselves for his or her "cowardice" inside living through although most of their allies passed on any royal, wonderful loss of life. Once the Horde shamans detected the particular temporary anomaly in the Natural stone talon Foothills, Bronx & a much more younger enthusiast ended up shipped to make inquiries in to. Bronxs spouse, Gaskell, ended up being slain & Bronx herself was thrown0 500 decades in the previous along with a human, & the monster. In thanks work, Bronx ended up being captured through the Silent celestial body Guard & brought to Surname pertaining to safekeeping. The nighttime elves treated your pet as an pet, d3 gold your priestess Soap box ended up being variety to him, supplying your ex foodstuff & recovery his / her incidents. Bronx called your ex "shaman", thinking that the capabilities regarding healing that they utilized ended up of course to the girl by the state of mind.  More information about Whoa Precious metal, if you need to Buy Amazing Platinum on the internet, here's your better alternative.

]]> Wed, 03 Apr 2013 07:16:04 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/529/the-broxigar-information-regarding-incredible-playing/new/posts/ <![CDATA[The Finest WoW Instructions Are less expensive and also High risk Than]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/528/the-finest-wow-instructions-are-less-expensive-and-also-high-risk-than/new/posts/ The particular environments that one could explore are getting to be huge and that means you are going to cause you to some various other optional points privately. The actual vastness of the online game causes it to be easy to obtain missing and although you'll be able to determine things wow gold having your own business or even question the help of additional participants, a wow guidebook is efficient to utilize when thinking about performing stuff like progressing upward or perhaps making gold quickly without wrecking the rush and excitement aspect. manual whoa strategies are created simply by different Warcraft fans which base their strategies on his or her genuine suffers from. The info of people manuals vary using a variety of all of them filing ideas although some pay attention to more deeply factors. You can find a pair of common teams of a whoa guide on the net.
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The Zygor amazing information is a popular option mainly because it subdivides by itself to a couple of sub-guides for assorted kinds of people to work with. You'll find ranking up books for partnership along with horde factions and contains a few benefit content simultaneously. Like Dugi's Best Guidebook, this specific whoa manual combines with all the online game for straightforward subsequent of the tips necessary to gain quantities rapidly. It offers the waypoint technique therefore gamers don't really need to deploy the particular TomTom add-on. It's also incorporates a search monitoring system to actually do well folks to achieve missions with out shedding on your path. Zygor manuals tend to be brand new revisions exactly like it major up-date this involves the Zygor expertise consultant therefore people may much better create their particular picked figure course.
Commercial incredible instructions tend to be ultimately an answer if you would like easy gameplay with out looking throughout other web sites. They typically keep the greatest data that will not be discovered within no cost instructions. Additional information concerning these kind of manuals can be obtained with their individual home pages. There are numerous Incredible cataclysm relieve manuals around and you'll always be questioning when just about any deserve their particular charges. You could be questioning if you will end up wasting funds after you buy one. All of us want to restore with a higher level but people are not happy to function relentlessly when you're getting there. There exists enough detailed information online on the internet, by means of instructions, ideas, how-to video clips, walkthroughs, and so on, however a lot of the data is in fact the exact same.
Wow players don't need to only to level his or her heroes upward, they should stage his or her vocations wow po and weapons upward in addition. Together with everything, they should consistently learn innovative skills and earn the maximum amount of platinum as is practical.

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]]> Tue, 25 Sep 2012 02:57:18 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/524/leather-handbagslongchamp/new/posts/ <![CDATA[Car Hire in Chennai T.Nagar]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/523/car-hire-in-chennai-tnagar/new/posts/ ASFAR Forums :

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]]> Mon, 24 Sep 2012 15:09:32 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/523/car-hire-in-chennai-tnagar/new/posts/ <![CDATA[Parents who try to control your relationships]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/75/parents-who-try-to-control-your-relationships/new/posts/ The other day I was talking to my mom and she was worried that I had snuck out of my room last night to meet my boyfriend. She said she was really worried because she didn't want me to (GASP) become sexually active, and since I'd recently told her of my boyfriend she thought maybe I'd snuck out to go see him. It just made me laugh (not to her face of course) because I've had sex several times with several different people and my mom trying to control this is just funny. how can parents and the government think they have control over us with these laws? The only thing that these laws do is possibly scare older people so that they don't ave sex with us. Clearly we still ahve sex with each other. Thses laws are completely dumb and useless

]]> Sun, 23 Sep 2012 18:31:42 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/75/parents-who-try-to-control-your-relationships/new/posts/ <![CDATA[Drug-sniffing policy at my high school]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/94/drugsniffing-policy-at-my-high-school/new/posts/ Hi, I am currently a senior at Temple City High School, in Temple City, CA. I am concerned that a certain policy at my school violates the 4th amendment. My school is using the Interquest Program to detect drugs and weapons through the use of widespread, random, unannounced drug-sniffing detection canines. During such uses, dogs are subject to sniff parked vehicles, lockers, and everything inside classrooms. I am particularly concerned with the appearance of the dogs at the classrooms. When a drug-sniffing dog is subject to sniff out a classroom, students and teachers in that classroom are told to remove themselves from the classroom, leaving their personal belongings such as jackets, backpacks, and purses behind for the dog to sniff. If the canines indicate to anything, the item would be searched without the property owner's consent. When the canines appear, the school has no individualized suspicion. The school's only intent for using the dogs is to deter drug use.

Can you help me? I don't think this policy is constitutional, and I hope you agree, but I would do anything in my power to get this policy ended. I've also read the topic "Unconstitutional School Search" right below this topic and notice almost a complete match in description. What should I do or what can you do?

Thank you!

]]> Wed, 12 Sep 2012 19:17:58 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/94/drugsniffing-policy-at-my-high-school/new/posts/ <![CDATA[SPAM!!!!!]]> http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/129/spam/new/posts/ I think the first thing we should do is find some way to block the torrent of spam accounts, so we can have a discussion without being interrupted by a peddler trying to sell us jerseys. A good place to start might be to create some roadblock in the registration, such as a security code to enter, or a required essay on youth rights, to be checked for sentience by a volunteer.

I bet my life that a spammer will pick up on this forum.

]]> Tue, 11 Sep 2012 12:31:19 +0000 http://www.asfar.org/forums/topic/129/spam/new/posts/